Have you heard that, later this month, (probable) Republican presidential hopefuls Newt Gingrich and Mike Huckabee will join Tea Party Queen Michele Bachmann (R-MN), pseudohistorian David Barton and other notables for a nationwide webcast? They’ll be campaigning ministering to “God’s people” about American HIStory:
…(T)he founders of our country drew their inspiration, wisdom, and direction from the Bible. Beginning in colonial times, church leaders spoke to their congregations about the events and issues of the day in the context of Biblical truth. Rediscover God in America will lay a foundation of critical knowledge for your congregation. They’ll learn how to interpret and assess current events in light of God’s Word, as our founding fathers did, and how to respond Biblically and take action that aligns with His truth.
A just and prosperous nation is born and sustained by truth, not compromise. Join with thousands of churches across the nation! Bring the truth about God and America to your congregation and community.
Just think. Newt, Mike, Michele and David beamed straight to your church’s Jumbo-Tron in order to, um, educate your flock about how to vote the Founding Fathers’ actual political intentions.
As for the politicians and hockers of pseudohistory? Hey, with friends like these willing pastors, who needs the Koch Brothers anyway?
And, there’s no telling which other likely GOP presidential contenders will add their names to the list of celebs at “Rediscovering God in America.” Actually, most of the other possible nominees (Donald Trump is an obvious exception) would fit right in. A rather scary thought.
But, if you, like me, would rather not think about it too much, look instead at the RGA logo. Why does it clearly incorporate “Obama 2008″ logo design elements? Or is my overactive imagination acting up again?
By the way, if you squint and look at it just so, the Obama logo reads “I-S-L-A-M,” which is racist.
Once these people gain power, I wonder how long it will be before legislation is passed to require all Americans to believe in the Christian God, with mandatory church attendance and public Bible testing.
If there is a God I don’t imagine he’s real happy about how Newt has treated his former wives.
Hi Idaho Dad & Chris,
Actually, the public Bible testing thing could be fun since we’d outperform them. We already outperform faux-believers like Newt in the morals dept. (but, then, who doesn’t?).
I’m wondering which of the “founders” they will be talking about. Of course Jefferson famously said (in Notes to Virginia): “But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” He also in his spare time edited the Gospels to get rid of what he thought was not worthy of belief.
Benjamin Franklin wrote a month before he died: “As to Jesus of Nazareth, my Opinion of whom you particularly desire, I think the System of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the world ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupt changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissenters in England, some Doubts as to his divinity; tho’ it is a question I do not dogmatize upon, having never studied it, and I think it needless to busy myself with it now, when I expect soon an Opportunity of knowing the Truth with less Trouble….”
William Penn was a Quaker and by then Quakers had adopted the full anti-war position. This will be a curious needle to thread for the war-making Republicans.
New England was founded by Puritans, who hated Quakers, Catholics, Baptists and atheists. In fact it took an instruction from England to have them repeal the law that made practicing these heresies a capital offense.
The famous John Jay, one of the presidents of the Continental Congress, negotiator of the end of the Revolution and first Chief Justice of the United States proposed during the constitutional convention of New York to prohibit Roman Catholics from holding offices of trust in New York.
Newt is now a Roman Catholic. (It was during his “Baptist” phase that he did all of those seemingly offenses against family values that the hyper-technical are always citing). I wonder if that will be part of his lesson about the founders.
I think you’re onto something, Lynn, with the logo question.
It is clear to me that these people are gay.
Now, stay with me here.
You know how the rantiest homophobic legislators always turn out to be gay?
Well, these folks are really ranty and stealing Obama’s logo.
And therefore. . . .
See, it all makes sense now, doesn’t it? :)
Nance (not sure what gay people have done to deserve being yoked with these asshats but. . . )
Excellent points, DK. Somehow I doubt any of them will make their way into the lessons.
Is it true that the Jefferson Bible was given to new members of Congress at one time? How we’ve sunk. Now they’re probably getting copies of Barton’s books. Or Newt’s.
Nance: “You know how the rantiest homophobic legislators always turn out to be gay?”
Yes, they try to hide, but, thanks to Jerry Falwell and National Enquirer, their secrets are exposed.
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