Raise your hand if you need another reason to find Rick Warren obnoxious.
[pause, finger-tap-tap-tap]
No takers? How ’bout I give you one more anyway? For the heck of it. Because there’s something that Warren says occasionally that you’ll definitely want to remember when you’re out shopping for a new (2010) calendar this month.
I believe that God came to earth in a human form 2,000 years ago, that he split history into A.D. and B.C., that even if you don’t accept that Jesus was who he said he was, every time you write a date you use his life as a reference point – A.D. and B.C..
So, basically, every time you write the date, you acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Savior… whether you realize it or not. Whether you like it or not – and you don’t - because you hate God and worship yourself.
Well, having just stumbled upon Warren’s ridiculous statement for the umpteenth time, I’ve decided to put my Arby’s roast beef sandwich campaign on hold for now and solicit support for my new undertaking: resetting the calendar! I’m convinced that if enough of us got together, we could “re-split history” ourselves.
Very exciting.
Here’s one possibility to stimulate your imagination:
As you know, it was in January 2005 that the Prophet Bobby (pasta be upon him) brought Word of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the modern world. If we were to use the year of The Revealing as a “reference point,” we could re-split history (into FSM and BFSM [before FSM]) at what is currently called 2005 in the Jesus calendar.
For instance:
- 4 FSM – Sarah Palin quits her job to spend more time promoting her new book.
- 4 BFSM - The US military drops 2.4 million Pop Tarts on Afghanistan.
But, this is just off the top of my head. Collectively, if we were to sit down and use our noodles, I think we could come up with even better ideas.
The important question — Pop Tarts?
Nance
Although I may have missed the big picture. :)
Nance
Hi Nance,
My understanding is that the Pop Tarts drop was part of the relief effort to help people previously ruled by the Taliban. But the Afghanis didn’t like them, and fed them to their pack animals instead.
I’ll look for a link for you :)
While looking, I found this. OMG. Hilarious. The part about Pop Tarts starts at 2:40.
Not to get all serious and academic on you but here’s one one egocentric conceit the rest of Thinking Humankind has solved already, regardless of what American patriarchs pronounce: it’s called CE, which stands for the Common Era.
I know this because I read Jacques Barzun’s From Dawn to Decadence (one o’ them Frencified socialist thinkers, doncha know) and also because Young Son considers history his field, so he is home-educating ME. :)
I used CE and BCE in homeschooling, but it drove Girl crazy because it was different and “confusing.” Common Era and Before the Common Era is how it was explained to me in college. Is that right?
Yep, and it’s not new either; that’s what this article explains. (I like the part near the bottom that says Southern Baptists object to it even though it still uses their dating system!)
I vote for the FSM system. I love any chance to use macaroni and I’m envisioning a wall of noodly timelines for our home education.
I vote for His Noodliness, too, as we can not only assign a year to his unveiling but an actual day! That’s a much more precise dating system than the BC/AD one. IIRC, historians think Jesus may have been born in3 BC.
Take THAT, Rick Warren!
I’d have to vote for the FSM calendar just to further piss off the Southern Baptists. :)
Nance
Good point, Daryl. We do have an actual day to celebrate. It’ll be great. We can go around wishing everyone “Merry Pasta Day!”; but, just let them try to take the Pasta out of Pasta Day! >:[] And, if stores refuse to honor His Noodliness, we’ll organize boycotts and smear campaigns! :D
That should satisfy Nance’s requirements for a new system. :)
And, to make Audrey happy, we’ll have people hang macaroni and pine garlands in their homes. Or, spend the day eating macaroni salads? :P
Thanks for the link, JJ. I haven’t read the article yet, but I’m curious as I always thought it was a new convention.