Apparently, in my neck of the woods, we’ve got Free Beef for Christians. A local Arby’s franchise owner is playing Soup Nazi Beef Nazi, offering selective discounts to both seniors and churchgoers.
Seniors get 15 percent off a meal; Churchgoers qualify for a special buy-one-get-one-free deal with proof of church attendance. Can you imagine how much senior church-goers save?! Cha-ching!
A blogger, at Food Frenzy, “phoned the restaurant and asked how the deal was conceived. “Well, the owner is a Christian,” a voice on the other end told me.” Say no more.
Hmm. I wonder if the Onion or, say, Bobby Henderson have any church bulletins to download for such an occasion. :)
Hmm… I’m trying to feel the outrage here, but… it’s Arby’s. Isn’t that punishment enough?
So, it’s a blessing in disguise, then? LOL :D Excellent point.
Hmmm… I wonder if they would accept a pillow case or a mattress tag. That’s how I spend my Sunday mornings.
Hey, I spend my Sunday mornings doing the same thing,… while dreaming of invisible pink unicorns, of course.
If I had any guts at all, I’d give the pillow case or mattress tag idea a try. :) Plus, it sounds like a great way to get featured in the local paper. In fact, I’ll bet it’s how Balloon Dad started out. Small, working his way up… I’ll have to sleep on the idea. :)
Lynn, you absolutely have to make up a fake church bulletin featuring FSM and go present it for the freebie. If somebody could surreptitiously film the entire episode that would be even better. It will be an epic blog post, the kind of thing that makes it to the front page of Fark, bringing you your 15 minutes of Internet fame!
OMG! You’re so right! I was thinking that the stunt would only earn me five minutes of fame, but, yes, it’s definitely worth 15! And because 15 is, like, three times as much as five, I’ll bet it would be three times as much fun to pull off! Hmm. ;)
Except there’s a flaw in this scheme. Seems like by divine design that would only work in a spaghetti house, not a sandwich shop . . .
Flaw? What flaw? If Christian aren’t limited to only flesh and blood establishments, why should we be restricted to spaghetti houses? It seems perfectly sensible to me! :D
Good point. Though I would’ve restricted the Christians to Long John Silver’s and the Red Lobster, now that I think about it. ;-)
Yes, I thought about fish places, too :) … then I remembered that there are certain types of seafood (like shrimp, crab and lobster) that fundamentalists aren’t allowed to eat.
Verily, according to the “jots and tittles” in Leviticus:
9 ‘These you may eat of all that are in the water: whatever in the water has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers—that you may eat.
10 But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you.
11 They shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination.
12 Whatever in the water does not have fins or scales—that shall be an abomination to you.
And, restaurants that are open on the Sabbath should also be on the restricted list, as most make “strange fires” in their ovens. Hey, wait a minute. How is Arby’s making those sandwiches? Oy. What a tangled web God weaves… [sigh]
Btw, for fun, I looked to see how Arby’s sandwiches are made. Here’s what I found:
Which brings us full-circle back to Audrey:
//restaurants that are open on the Sabbath should also be on the restricted list,//
That leaves them with Chick-Fil-A.
They’re closed on Sundays, aren’t they? I forgot. One just went in… a hop, skip and jump from Saddleback Church. Continue down the street a bit and you’ll find In-N-Out Burger.
From wikipedia:
In-N-Out prints discreet references to Bible verses on their paper utensils. The print is small and out of the way, and only contains the book, chapter and verse numbers, not the actual text of the passages. The practice began in the 1980s during Rich Snyder’s presidency, a reflection of the beliefs held by the Snyder family:
Burger and cheeseburger wrappers
Revelation 3:20—”Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me.”
Beverage cups and replicas
John 3:16—”For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Milkshake cups
Proverbs 3:5—”Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”
Double-Double wrapper
Nahum 1:7—”The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.”
Paper water cups (no longer in use) for customers. They are now used for thirsty employees.
John 14:6—”Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
License plate keychain
1 Corinthians 13:13—”And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”
In-N-Out prints discreet references to Bible verses on their paper utensils.
They ripped that off of me. I put chapter and verse references very discreetly on the little bottles of perfumes and the soaps I make. Admittedly, I only put the same one:
Audrey 3:16 – All right ye people! Quit misquoting me!
Audrey 3:16 would look great on a tie-dye t-shirt with a rainbow wig!
Audrey 3:16 would look great on a tie-dye t-shirt with a rainbow wig!
I see you’ve been in my closet again, hmm?
No black pointy hats for you, then? :)
I’m just teasing, you know. ;)
That’s crazy! I’ve never seen anything like that before.
Hi Dennis,
I have no idea how common these promotions are. Voting stubs for soft drinks, we have; sandwiches for proof of church attendance is new to me.
What an intriguing blog you have, Dennis. It’s so different from the blogs I tend to visit. Thanks for some fresh insights… and, I love what you’re doing with the boxes of photographs, by the way. :)
Really. A lovely, poetic blog. Thanks! :)
Nance