Girl and I took Grandma to the mall today. On our way to the escalator, we passed a Borders bookstore. A friendly woman approached us.
“Hi! Would you like some chocolate?” :)
“Um…” :P
“I’m an author having a book signing today and would you like some chocolate? I’ve written a new book and I’d be happy to sign a copy for your daughter! Please take some chocolate.”
“Well,… okay, thank you.”
So, yes, I bought a book. I was supporting a local author, my daughter seemed interested in reading the book (“A Tale of Betrayal, Love, and Sacrifice”), I happened to have an unexpired Border’s coupon in my purse – and the nice lady gave us chocolate!
It wasn’t until we returned home that my daughter looked at the author’s signature, which included a reference to Psalm 37:4.
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Um…
Tonight, looking over the book more closely (as one should always do before spending hard-earned money), I’ve discovered that the book is evangelical Christian fiction, featuring a “benevolent King; …his sword of power; …a ruthless traitor bent on revenge; …and the faithful son who stands in his way with the woman destined to share his throne.”
Who shall emerge as the victor in this epic struggle between good and evil to govern the lives of hapless men?
So, how do you think the story will go?
.
Intriguing… ‘his sword of power’.
Do you think ‘they’ knew that’s a little suggestive?
So how was the chocolate?
Ami:
Well, she did say that the book has “romance.” :)
The chocolate? It wasn’t good enough to make up for the price of the book, but I enjoyed it anyway. It got me thinking about Halloween :)
Witches?? [gasp, you pagan!]
Actually this brought to mind a CS Lewis polemic, forget which book, about trying to explain the rather unpalatable concept of “heaven” as a place where one realizes one’s human inadequacies for eternity (surely an acquired taste!) to a child whose clearest idea of pleasure isn’t even sex, but simply chocolate — off to Google.
Found this:
[Footnote 29: C. S. Lewis, Perelandra (New York: Macmillan, 1965), 3:32-33. Here Lewis's narrator says, "In Ransom's opinion the present functions and appetites of the body would disappear, not because they were atrophied but because they were, as he said, 'engulfed.'"]
To explain this phenomenon, Lewis uses the apt analogy of a small boy who loves chocolates. Upon being told that “the sexual act is the highest bodily pleasure,” the boy immediately asks whether you [eat] chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer “No,” he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it.
We are in the same position.We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it. Hence where fulness [sic] awaits us we anticipate fasting.[30]
[Footnote 30: Lewis, Miracles, 16:160.]
Now if this had been a man pushing his “romance” novel talking about a “sword of power” and offering your daughter candy. . . you’d both have been yelling for the mall cop! Sounds pretty sketchy to me. :)
Now, JJ and other literary critics among us, what is the difference between this book and a “bodice ripper?” Aside from the obvious main character.
Nance
xian marketing 101: slap a cross or fish on anything and sell it as “Christian.” Same goes for bodice ripper books: just throw in some allegories and voila – a whole new audience for crappy writing emerges.
Well — let’s see, if this book and its marketing has sex AND chocolate, one thing we can say with some confidence is that it’s outside CS Lewis’ conception of Christianity . . .
I’ve always wondered btw, where the virgins supposedly come from, that are promised to the fundamentalist Muslim terrorists in heaven. Are they presented in the story as angel beings or humans who remained virgins so they could die and then serve dead male warriors? And what kind of heaven would that be for THEM??
Them? Do you think the guy writing the book cared about them?! :)
So, Meanie, I could make millions if I just had more fish decals? Fantastic!
Nance
JJ:
Ugh, sounds like your “heaven, as a place where one realizes one’s
human inadequaciesmale-imposed penalties for eternity.” If there’s any justice at all, muslim women will receive chocolate instead of men.Meanie:
Ten points and a piece of chocolate to Meanie, who has reminded me of Armor of God pjs! :)
Of all Christian media, the films have to be the worst.
Actually, Nance, I read that the “guy writing the book” used a word that meant “crystal-clear white raisins” rather than “doe-eyed virgins” thereby suggesting that food and drink rewards have been mistranslated all this time to mean women! ;-)
Which imo, brings us back to CHOCOLATE e.g. as heavenly!
But who the hell is going to kill himself for raisins?
Nance
Good point! :-)
Of course, just like the doe-eyed virgins, the raisins don’t even exist.
To spend your one, fleeting life on earth chasing after “white raisins of crystal clarity” or mansions in heaven? What a colossal waste. To take others down with you (in service of those delusions) is beyond obscene.
But that’s what we started out talking about in the first place, selling waste-of-time or even obscene fiction with little sweeteners, yes? ;-)
Excellent summation! :D